The Cuckold Husband / Hotwife Phenomena

The Cuckold Husband / Hotwife Phenomena

Dr. Cherry Lee, Ph. D.(Dr. Lee has lectured and published in the area of analytical psychology, and she developed one of the first electronic systems for the quantitative analysis human behavior. She started her counseling work by leading gestalt therapy groups. Apart from this, her several decades of professional experience has been largely limited to urban, affluent, female subjects.) What Has Spurred the Cuckold Husband/Hotwife Phenomena?Although motivations for the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena actually cover a wide spectrum, here we'll cover a few of the most common. First, the husband may suspect that his wife is becoming interested in experiencing sex with someone else. He may value the relationship and not want her to jeopardize things because of the deceit and secrecy that normally accompany affairs. In short, he wants to know about and approve any extramarital sex, and even have some control over it. The cuckold husband wants his wife's sexual encounters with men to be for sex only, with no marriage-threatening emotional entanglements. In this respect it is similar to attitudes about extramarital sex now held by many of the younger people in Japan.The mass media often cast beautiful and desirable women as both sexy and prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman used to be considered a "fallen woman" or even a "whore," in some minds she now seems to represent an enticing new standard. Some women used to brag about how they could avoid marital sex, and despite the views of some radical feminists, such women are now suspected as being man-haters, latent lesbians, or simply having personal problems. Now, many women find a certain excitement in being viewed as sexually liberated. For some, especially some older women, there may be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable — even discretely promiscuous. While holding to the security of her primary relationship, she may revel in experiencing sexual freedom.At the same time, most cuckold husbands want their wives to appear ladylike on the surface (in public.). But, among select men, they want they wives to be known as and "not hung up about sex," or even "great lays." Although this type of wife was once considered a threat to husbands — and it still is to most — the more psychologically secure males believe that a healthy and well-adjusted (and desirable) woman enjoys sex, and has the right to be just as open about it as men.Plus, the husbands involved may pride themselves in being secure enough to handle a hotwife. He may even brag to another man about how his wife loves sex and can't get enough (which, not coincidentally, may be very much in contrast to the attitude of that man's wife). Implicit in the comment is that the husband has no problem with this, and that, in fact, he thinks his wife is pretty "hot." In many cases sex within the marriage has waned or grown dull and routine and the husband may get vicarious excitement in seeing (sometimes literally) his wife remain sexually active.Many women realize that other women regularly enjoy "good sex," and although many wives have grown ambivalent about sex within their marriages and are reluctant to try new things, these barriers frequently fall with the expectations of new sexual partners. With new men there appears to be unspoken desire to "not disappoint" and "to be good in bed."Even though she may have started to have doubts about her sexual desirability, as a hotwife she will probably find that men are again interested in her. For some women this can constitute a kind of new "sexual awakening."This transformation can be quite disturbing for a husband who isn't prepared to handle it. These issues are discussed in much more detail in the next chapter.In some circles a woman may wear a bold ankle bracelet on her right ankle to tell men "in the know" that she's a hotwife. (At the same time, most women who wear ankle bracelets do so without realizing the possible significance.) Once seen as a hotwife, she may flirt with select men, making it clear that she's available for sex. Women As Sex Objects?Many women feel that being a hotwife turns a woman into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, more and more women are finding that this is not so.Most women have lived their lives trying to act "like proper women" and shunning men "who have one thing on their minds." Now, according to one woman, "I let guys know I like sex."Thus, she may soon get beyond, "what other people will think" and concentrate on the pleasures of the sexual experience — in particular, experiencing regular orgasms. This is often bolstered by the excitement that surrounds the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex with other men.Often the Husband's IdeaAll of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who not only knows about the high number of female affairs, but is even sexually excited by visualizing another man having sex with his wife.According to one husband, "I had to really change my view about how a wife is supposed to be, especially with guys finding out she's 'easy.' But now I can sort of get off on having a woman that guys know is pretty hot. Fact is, instead of being embarrassed or defensive, I now sort of brag about how she loves sex, and then I casually mention that this sure makes her a lot different than most wives."According to another husband, "...after a while I got into the idea of encouraging her to let guys give her all the sex she can handle. ...She's settled on several guys she likes and she gets it from at least one of them almost every day. I don't mind her going off with a guy for a few hours; I don't feel like I have to take her out — they do that. In fact, I have to admit; I sort of get off on knowing [when she goes out with a guy] that he will soon have her clothes off and be in her. I can kind of get of on visualizing them going at it."From her husband's perspective, if he can rid himself of the "fallen woman baggage" that pervades most of our culture, the fact that she is pursued by men, makes herself available to men, and is frequently bedded by men, introduces a bit of competition for her. This can strengthen the husband's resolve to "treat her right."Or, things can move in the opposite direction, with the husband feeling that, to a degree, she is no longer "his," and he may find himself emotionally distancing himself from her. If such feelings aren't effectively addressed and resolved, they may seriously damage the relationship. Things aren't helped when his change in attitude is accompanied by her (however transient) excitement about new men in her life. From the husband's perspective there is sometimes a "taming of the shrew" element. He may fantasize about a powerful (safe) man sexually awakening and dominating her, and forcing her to break free of sexual inhibitions. Some husbands know how exciting a new sexual partner and experience can be, and want to offer some other men this experience with their wives.A husband may also fantasize about having a wife that is, to a degree, driven by both a physical and a psychological need for sex. Visualizing or seeing first-hand other men meeting this need in her —but only with his permission— may excite him. The Woman's PerspectiveWomen have a different perspective on being a hotwife, of course. According to one woman, "I've got a sense of freedom in enjoying the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband, or even being worried about what people will think. If I want to do it with a guy, I have the freedom to let it happen. At the same time, the hotwife does not want jealousy or resentment to ruin her marriage or threaten the unusual freedom she enjoys, a freedom she knows that very few husbands would be willing to grant. Therefore, she needs to be careful to be totally open and honest to her husband about her lovers. This means that there will be no secret conversations or secret meetings with men. It may also mean that the husband may want to approve of the men she has sex with.The cuckold husband may want his wife to announce her sexuality by wearing revealing clothes. For example, he may accompany her to a night spot in a distant city and have her dress in ultra-revealing clothes. This can serve to get them both used to the resulting male attention. Rather than being jealous, having a wife that is seen by other men as sexually "hot" may provide him with an ego boost. (Dare we suggest that for some men hot wives are replacing hot cars as a source of pride.) Thus, while the male and female motivations might be quite different in the cuckold husband-hotwife phenomena, the ultimate goal can be the same. The husband has to adjust to his wife not being sexually exclusive to him. He will have to deal with meeting men who have had or want to have sex with her. To compensate for any suspected loss of his virility, the husband may remind others of his own previous sexual escapades. At the same time to prove his lack of jealousy, he may freely admit to men that his wife regularly enjoys sex with different men, and he may even subtly offer her to select men. According to one man, "I like to set things in motion like that just to see what happens."The Quintessential Issue What may seem desirable for the husband or wife while under the influence of testosterone, libido or fantasy, may later seem like a huge mistake. The result may be regret and marital estrangement. Clearly, the cuckold husband/hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness. Although these traits may not be desirable, they are the norm and must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners are okay with going in this direction, most of society isn't. With most people there is still a sigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband that lets his wife have extramarital sex. Most people who find out about this will respond negatively toward both partners.This can be a problem in a work environment where "character" is a part of job performance and promotion considerations. (A common male chauvinistic attitude with roots in the "wife as the husband's property" notion says that a husband should keep his wife "under control," and if she has affairs she definitely isn't "under control.")While many couples are able to keep their sexual activities private, they may live with the fear that they may be found out. At the same time, self-employed people who live in large urban areas, or people who work around like-minded individuals probably won't have this concern.All this being said, given the ever-increasing number of affairs, and the emerging attitudes about condoned affairs in countries such as Japan, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment U.S. society won't be ready to accept open relationships. We seem to be in the early stages of that now.Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, if we are able to shift our emphasis to love and commitment to hold relationships together, rather than the refutable doctrines about sexual exclusivity which simply cater to jealousies and insecurities, it would not only eliminate much heartache, but it would remove many of the "justifications" for dissolving relationships.

Scientific Explaination of Cuckolding

A Scientific Explaination of Cuckolding!How many of you have wondered what it is about being cuckolded that is so exciting and so thrilling? Why should something so humiliating and emasculating be such a "turn on?" How many of you have already started getting a hard-on just reading this introduction by a female who cuckolds her mate? I thought so! Well, I've studied the phenomena of "the thrilled cuckold" for quite a while, and I shall attempt in this report to explain to you the how's and whys of your thrilling sensations from being cuckolded. If the biological stuff is boring or confusing, bare with me, as I will put everything into layman's terms (pun intended).What you have to understand is that we are all still carrying around the same biology our ancestors did in the stone age. Our primary reason for existing in this world (biologically) is to procreate offspring in order to continue our unbroken line of genes in the gene pool. The very fact that you are here is because your ancestors have had kids and grandkids for countless generations. Congratulations! You are from a successful line of ancestors who managed to inseminate females and had offspring!Now, how is it that females and males select who we will procreate with? Men and women have different methods and different priorities for this. Males select females with long legs, shapely hips, large breasts, and pretty faces. In other words, you guys want to fuck total foxes. Lets face it, who would you rather do, Rosie O'Donnell or Jennifer Lopez? You guys look for these traits because they give signals to your brain and body that the woman is healthy and will have healthy kids. The programming in you men tells you to go out and impregnate as many foxes as you can, thereby having as many kids as you can. Men are after quantity, not necessarily quality, because you have the ability to really spread that seed around, thus increasing your chances of having more kids.Women look for quality, not quantity. We are programmed to look for tall muscular men, with strong broad shoulders and strong arms. These are signals to us that these men are strong enough to protect us, strong enough to make good hunters and providers for our children, and if they have large cocks, they will impregnate us easily and bring us much pleasure. These guys we shall call studs. These studs produce healthy, good looking children. That's why us women would rather fuck Antonio Bandaras than Danny De Vito. When a stud makes contact with a fox, the sex is very, very good indeed! Both people enjoy orgasms which will encourage the procreation of a child. Super sex! Mind blowing sex! Fantastic orgasms!Men and Women give off chemicals in their natural scents called pheromones. Pheromones are like perfume drugs. When they are inhaled by members of the opposite sex, the body of the inhaler processes information about the person giving off the pheromones. This process is done without you knowing about it in a part of the brain called the synapses. When you smell the natural perfume of a woman, your body is processing information about her immune systems, her genetic makeup, and is calculating whether or not she would make a good sex partner for you. That's why you guys are attracted to certain women, and that's why you selected your wife to be your wife, because her pheromones told you she'd make you a good match. They caused you to fall in love with her. The same happened to her. Your pheromones told her that you would make a good match. However, that does NOT mean you were the best possible match for her, just the best available at the time.The advantage of selection is with the woman. If she is a fox, she usually has several studs chasing after her, giving off their pheromones and trying to attract her. She usually selects the best one for her, but sometimes another comes around later on who makes a better match; a super stud. She will always be tempted to change up to a better partner if the opportunity presents itself. Women can be fickle creatures.When men and women make love, they exchange more chemical pheromones that are passed during french kissing, and from the man's semen into the woman's vagina. These chemicals cause the couple to become attached to each other. This bond is only as strong as the quality of the match made in the woman's synapses. A superior male can break this bond and create a new one with her if he can manage to get her to experience his pheromones. She will change and become attached to her new lover.When you separate a man and a woman for a time, the man will build-up both desire for her and also some doubt of her fidelity. When you and your wife make love for the first time after you have returned from a fishing trip, or after she has been out all day and night with her girlfriends, your ejaculate will almost double in quantity, just on the outside chance that she has been unfaithful, and she has another man's semen swimming inside of her. That reaction is called the sperm competition reaction, and those orgasms experienced by men who have reunited with their mates are very powerful indeed! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it also makes the cock harder, and the balls more productive.Now, cuckolding is the situation where the female has been unfaithful. If her mate knows this, the sperm competition reaction in him will kick in, producing more and more sperm the very next time he is around her, regardless of whether or not they make love. When you see your wife make it with a superior male, your sperm competition reaction causes you to want to cum, and cum hard. Even though the humiliation and jealousy of what is happening also takes place in your mind, the sperm competition reaction can overcome your feelings of anger and jealousy and can cause intense pleasure by making you cum very hard with a lot of semen! This is the component that causes you to like it when your mate cheats in front of you! Your body is so compelled to compete with her lover, that you can sometimes cum just watching them! It's a trick of nature my friends! It's not even a perversion!Now, more about your wife's reaction. Even though she has a mate (you) and she loves you very much, she is also vulnerable to the pheromones of a super stud. If a superior male comes along who gives off pheromones telling her he is a superior match to you, she will be attracted to him, and her desire to have sex with him will build. If they continue to make social contact with one another, eventually she will try to attract him into mating with her. It's her nature. If the attraction is mutual, the stud will take in the pheromones she is giving off, and the two of them will get hot for each other. They will find a way to have sex, and bring their procreative powers together. As they make love, a sexual bond will build between them and they will exchange pheromones. But that's not all!When your wife makes love with her superior lover, she becomes his mate! He steals her from you! Here's how: as they have sex, she is taking in his pheromone chemicals when they french kiss, and from his semen in her vagina. Her body will recognize his superior genetic makeup and will reprogram itself to react to his scent and his sexual attentions more strongly than with anyone else, including you! Her strongest and most enjoyable orgasms will be with the lover who has the superior genes, and usually with the largest cock and biggest balls. She will desire him sexually, even if she doesn't like him as a person and still loves you. Her animal instincts will cause her to react to him and desire him. When he is around, her breasts will swell, and her juices will flow. She will begin to give off her own pheromones, and the two of them will become hot for each other, even in front of you! He is her mate now, and that's that! In turn, she belongs to him! He is programmed to have many mates, she is programmed to have the best mate. It's human nature. That explains why men struggle with monogamy, and women do too, except that a woman will change partners but will try to maintain just one relationship at a time with the best male possible. The man is always looking to spread his seed around.Now comes the fun part: you react to your wife's lover's pheromones too! Inside every male there exists some female qualities. When you inhale your wife's lover's pheromones, your body is also processing the information about his genes. If you get on your knees and sniff his cock with your wife's scent on it, you will get a hard on. If you smell him on her body, you will get a hard on. You are reacting to his superior pheromones mixed with hers. It's a natural reaction. If you ingest his semen by eating your wife or sucking his cock, the same bonding chemicals that cause her to become hooked on him can cause you to become hooked on him if his genes are superior to your own. Your female side develops a taste for his spunk. How do you like them apples?The two of you (you and your wife) become sub-serviant to him. What a stud he is! The fact that you have been conquered by this superior male makes your wife want him all the more. He has now come between the two of you and has stolen your mate. He's also made you like it! Watching or listening to them make love or smelling and tasting the aftermath of their sexual encounters causes your sperm competition reaction to make loads of sperm, and starts to demand a quick release, and that's what gives you guys "the thrill" of being cuckolded.Of course all of this is chemical-biological, and has no effect on intellect. The rest is psychology. He is after all, a superior male (physically), so he is a better lover. It's your instinct to compete with him that gets your body in such a hurry to ejaculate. Your body doesn't know that having "staying power" is sexy to your wife, just that it is anxious to get your sperm in the contest. That's why you cum just looking at them, your body "jumps the gun". Staying power is something that is artificial actually, something that can be learned and practiced. In the stone age, men were in a hurry to cum because while they had sex, they were vulnerable to attack by other males.The inferiority thing is a female trait (that exists in all men, even the studs). You want him to know that he is superior because, after all, he is! It's your female side that is attracted to him also. Remember, all of this is taking place in your charged synapses, not your conscious mind or even a very high level of your sub-conscious mind. It doesn't mean you're gay, or anything like that. He would get the same reactions from a male who was superior to him.The thrill you get out of the humiliation is because of the sperm competition reaction, the penis envy, and the fact that your wife has used her natural selection (Darwin's theory) to pick someone else over you. It's your physical response to it that turns you on, not the mental response. Soon, the emotions of jealousy and humiliation become triggers for the thrilling sensations. That's why feelings of inadequacy and belittlement seem to fuel your desires to be cuckolded.And just because your wife has a physical lover does not necessarily mean she will leave you or that she will stop liking/loving you. However, it does happen and that's part of the danger, isn't it? You use your physical response to help with the mental thrill of it all. If you were a weaker person mentally, you wouldn't be able to take them cheating on you, and you would react differently; maybe become violent.To sum it up, you cuckolds are a superior group mentally, but not physically!

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